Memories from Childhood pt. 2

In third grade there was this kid that picked on me, I think his name was Travis. I had to sit by Travis during "math hour" and he was kind of a bully to me. He liked to whisper awkward things to me that made me feel nervous and scared haha. One time he turned to me when everyone else was talking loudly and no one could hear him but me, and said "You are a nerd." I said "Am not!" He said "Dont even lie. I know you wear pink barbie underwear and like to watch barney!!!" I turned to him and said "How did you know?!?!!" He just shrugged and just gave me this look like "I just know things." In that moment I was FREAKED OUT, because it was true!!! It was my deepest darkest secret. And the night before I had participated in the very act that he spoke of: Partying in nothing but my pink barbie underwear, watching barney. However I was careful, and about half way through the barney sesh, I closed the blinds because I was afraid people would see, even though I was on the second story, how could they have seen? How did he know? This very thing has haunted me to this very day!! 


It was true though, I was a nerd. A nerd that loved to learn. I remember the day I found out that Don Gaspar de Portola, was the very man who discovered San Francisco Bay, I nearly wet myself with joy. For those of you who dont know who Don Gaspar de Portola is, he was the man that my elementary school was named after. I went to PORT-OLA, portola school (If you haven't heard the song, Ill sing it for you sometime). Very exciting, trust me. After my teacher, Mrs. Rungee made the big reveal of who he really was, I clapped my hand over my mouth and gasped. I was so excited for my friend Emilie Williams to find out too! I knew she would be just as excited as I was. When I got to tell her we both screamed for joy! Best day of our lives.  


Portola was one of the most ghetto/awesome elementary schools you could go to. We were only allowed to go to the bathroom like once a day. And you didn't want to go in the bathroom anyways because it was scary. NO one ever went in there. We also, had all of these red squares on the asphalt, and if you were naughty, you were sent to a red square and had to stand on it for the rest of recess, while every else around you could run, and laugh and play. It was like being banished. And every time the bell rang to go back to class, mrs lowman (with that big wart on her cheek) yelled "FREEZE!" and you had to pretend you were frozen until she told you that you could move again. OH! And Mr. Beitey our science teacher (I before e, except after c, and also in mr. BEITEY, another great song), who made us do all of these inhumane science projects, like dissecting a squid, and than frying it up, and having us eat it. It was the best. 

Arachnophobia

Satans Pets

Since we moved into our cute little house about 3 months ago, we have had 7, I repeat 7 different spiders encounters in our house. At first, we thought they were coming from our attic, because we found the first few spiders around that general area. We thought we could outsmart them, and took some defensive measures. We bought a foam insulating spray and sprayed it in just about every crack and crevice of our house, and sealed off our attic entirely. TRY TO GET THROUGH THAT little demons! But they did. Oh, they did. Since then, we have had 2 show up in our bedroom, one in the window while I was taking a shower (gasp! little pervert), and one by the garbage can in the kitchen.

                The most recent encounter happened when Jesse’s brother Schuylar was over. I was trying to nonchalantly pick up our kitchen, and I spotted this little red bean on the floor by the garbage can. I went to throw it away, and all the sudden it sprouted legs started to move. WAIT, not a bean!! I screamed and did a little hi-ya! Kick in the air, and ran out of the room. Jesse, who is supposed to be my fearless spider killer, is no better than I am, and ran away the moment he saw it. Both of us huddled in the corner together and muttered to ourselves, while schuylar killed and laughed at us for being the biggest babies ever. We’re so lucky that he was there. Haha.

                I learned the true evil nature of spiders while I was in high school. I remember driving to church one Sunday, and out of thin air a spider crawled out from inside my steering wheel. It was like it was waiting there all night for me. In that moment I totally forgot that I was driving, and my entire focus was devoted to 4 pairs of small beady eyes. The spider and I seemed to just stare at each other for like ten seconds. My heart was racing like you wouldn’t believe. I could tell just by looking at it that it was evil. And it seemed to be able to tell that I was a weakling, so it decided to attack. The spider jumped in the air towards me and landed on the lower part of the steering wheel where my hands were. I let go of the steering wheel for a sec, and then had to reangle my hands, into a very awkward position so that it wouldn’t touch me. It seemed to realize that it could overpower me, and it attacked again. It again jumped into the air and landed right between my legs, which had nothing to protect them, because I was of course wearing a SKIRT. That’s when I lost it. I was screaming in utter horror, and arrived at the church parking lot looking like someone who had gone mad!!! I honestly don’t know how I even made it to church, because I don’t remember ever looking at the road when I was driving. In the chaos, I somehow managed to swipe the little demon to the ground and stomp on it. Luckily none of the people arriving at church seemed to notice the meltdown happening inside of my car, it would have been quite the show!